Music… Transcends everything.

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

For the past few months, I have started listening to new music. This particular type of music has really grown in the North American market. It has been something that my kids and I can agree on and within this fandom, we have been able to bond.

So what is this fandom?? And what is the genre of music??

Drum roll please………..

It’s K-Pop!!! Also known as Korean Pop.

More specifically, my kids and I have bonded over our mutual love for the group BTS!!! They’re a South Korean boy group consisting of Jin, Suga, J-Hope, RM, Jimin, V, and Jung Kook.

Yes… I can say I’m A.R.M.Y! Stands for Adorable Representative MC for Youth. And so are my kids! We’re an A.R.M.Y house… Although Rios isn’t A.R.M.Y… He does like their music…. But I secretly think he’s a closet A.R.M.Y. Hahaha

So how did this happen?? Well… One day… We were watching YouTube and came across a channel called Bad Lip Reading. This guy creates funny lip readings based on movies, or TV shows, or even music videos like the one we saw. Rios clicked on it first. He goes… Hey…let’s watch this… The guy did a bad lip reading of BTS…. Here is the link for the Bad Lip Reading….

We watched the video and said… Oh goodness…. We have to watch the original video…. Low and behold, we watched the video and we were hooked!!

The song that hooked us was BTS’s Idol. Here is the link for the original song.

We started watching their videos from the time they debuted which was in 2013, until now. They have a large plethora of music in their repitoire. They used to be very hip hop based, but have softened their look and their music. With a whole mix of different music in between.

Rios spent 9 years keeping the boys away from hip hop and rap. It’s not something that is on his playlist at all. He has quite an extensive playlist from Christian music, to hard rock, to screamo bands, to girl k-pop groups. One thing he never had on his list was rap and hip hop. But BTS’s original music mostly consisted of rap and hip hop. Philip started listening to BTS and said to me and Rios “I think I like rap music.” Rios was shocked 😲 I heard him go “Nooooooooooo!” Hahaha He said to me after… I was prepared to hear “I hate you dad” when the kids get older, but I was not prepared for I like rap music. Haha He is still quite devastated about it. He says it’s like a dagger through his heart. I, on the other hand, like some rap and hip hop… Mostly 90’s stuff…. The stuff today is terrible!

Anyway….I have a few favourite BTS songs that I listen to regularly. A few of my favourites are Best Of Me, Butterfly, Spring Day, Go Go, Mic Drop, and the list goes on… Go ahead… I dare you to look up those songs on YouTube.

Philip has even picked up a lot of the choreography from their videos. I might get in trouble for sharing this video… But I’ll gladly take the hit.

This was when he first started learning their choreography…. He’s much much better now. And look… Rios is with him because they bonded over the choreography. For those who know Rios…. You know he never dances… But he wanted to do something with Philip to spark the interest in him…. And for that I love him even more. 😍 Now Philip has a love for dancing and will be having his first recital in May!

The second video is Aaron dancing along to BTS’s song Dope. Since this video… Aaron has added many songs to his list of songs to dance to.

So why BTS??

Honestly…. It just started with the one video and our fandom grew from there. I like the fact that they’re hip hop and rap is clean. They have a good message that is much better than the messages you’ll get from North American music. Even if we can’t fully understand what they’re saying… Music transcends everything.

My mom was even saying to Philip… “you should write to them and say that you want to dance with them when they come back to Canada, or I’ll pay for your ticket to go there.” ooooooh…. Mom can I go with him too? Clearly Philip is going to need a chaperone. They were in Canada just before we became fans…. We didn’t even know they had 3 concerts here. Way to miss the bandwagon….All I know is that when they come back, we’re going to the concert!!

I told Philip to practice and maybe that could be a dream of his come true, one day. Philip started taking hip hop classes and guess what song he’s going to be dancing to…. BTS’s Fake Love…. Which is the music in the above video. Philip learned all the original choreography. He taught himself, and his teacher had said he is really good. He has a natural talent for dancing…. If I was to compare him to one of the BTS members, I’d say he is most like Jung Kook because he is good at everything. They call Jung Kook the golden maknae (youngest). JK is good at a lot of things: Taekwondo, singing, dancing, cooking, drawing…. The list goes on.

Philip, in comparison, is talented at a lot of things: Judo, dancing, drawing, cooking. He hasn’t really tried singing, but we have musicians on both sides of the family, so I’m sure he could pick it up and be good at that too. For a kid his age… I’m proud of what he has accomplished in such a short time.

Philip’s favourite band member is RM. Isaac’s favourite is Jung Kook. Aaron’s favourite is Jimin. My favourite is also Jimin, but Jung Kook is a strong second. Rios’ favourite is J-Hope….even though he says he’s not A.R.M.Y. Hahaha 😂 I’m not buying it…. 😉 This whole thing has also opened up some food doors for us. Yes, you read that right… Before this Aaron would not try any new food… He was pretty picky… He still is, but if I say “Jimin eats this” he’s more likely to try it than he was before. He tried bok choy and marinated beef because of it. #parentingwin

Philip has also gotten his other brothers to love BTS too!

Here’s a picture of Philip and Isaac holding up a sign that they wanted me to tweet to BTS.

I had to download twitter onto my phone because of them.

Now… To the TOB part…

BTS’s latest series is Love Yourself…. While it is a good message… It is also an incomplete one.

Loving yourself involves self care and making sure you are who you are and that you love yourself as you are. But as Catholics, you know we are called to love as Christ loves… To sacrifice yourself for the good of others. It’s saying… You can’t give what you don’t have…. But the emphasis is on giving. You must take care of yourself but you must also care for others. That is the message that us Catholics must remember. We have to remind ourselves that we are living in this world, but we are not of this world. We belong to God in heaven.

Along these lines… Make sure to ask each other how you are…. Sincerely find out how your friends are. Find out what’s going on in their lives. Be there and support your friends. Spend time getting to one another. Life is a journey, so have fun finding out God’s plan for your life and find some music that will help you along the way.

For us at the Manrique-Reyes household, part of the music that bonds us is BTS.

Keep putting out music boys, and we’ll keep listening to it!

Comment below what your favourite BTS song is…

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog post!

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

Advertisement

Picking and Being God Parents in the Catholic Church

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

Exciting times are coming ahead…Jacob will be getting baptized soon. So we’re getting ready and praying for Jacob’s Godparents.

Let me explain a few things about both being Godparents AND picking Godparents.

In our culture, (Filipino) we often pick more than one set of Godparents. It’s not the standard among Catholics, but if the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a baby, then it takes a whole army to raise a good and solid Catholic child. So if you ever go to a Filipino person’s child’s Baptism, be aware that they may have more than one set of Godparents for his or her child.

For each of our 4 children, we have picked more than one set of Godparents. They have ranged from siblings to friends and family members to priests and religious sisters. All of whom are very integral in the spiritual lives of our children… Or at least we hope. 🙂 And even if they’re not…. This is their chance to step up to the plate and make sure my kids are getting into heaven, because that is priority number 1 for our family.

So here are a few things to know before you pick your child’s next Godparents. Please keep in mind that these points are considered the bare minimum. Hopefully you pick someone that will do these things and more. If getting into heaven is your priority, then you must choose wisely.

Potential Godparents must be practicing Catholics in “good standing” and must strive to exhibit a “spirit of prayer” and moral effort and growth in love of God and neighbour.

They can also be Christian, but would be considered a Christian witness instead of a Godparent, and must be accompanied by a Catholic sponsor.

According to the Cathechism of the Catholic Church (Paragraphs 2042-2043) They should make every effort to

  • Attend mass on Sundays and Holy days of obligation
  • Go to confession at least once a year
  • Receive Holy Communion once a year during the Easter season
  • Observe the fast of Ash Wednesday and Good Friday as well as abstain from meat on Fridays during Lent
  • Help provide for the needs of the Church
  • Observe the laws of the Church concerning marriage

Now let me talk about these points briefly…. The above things describe a Catholic in good standing. But let’s be honest here… These things are the bare minimum. If you pick someone who doesn’t care to go to church or blatantly disagrees with what the Catholic Church teaches, it’s probably not wise to pick him or her to be a spiritual father or mother to your child.

Spiritual motherhood and fatherhood is the ultimate vocation of a man or a woman. Which is why priests and religious sisters can also participate in this wonderful sacrament as God parents.

Remember that if something happens to the parents, the responsibility of the Godparents is to make sure that the child in their life is brought up in the faith. It is a very serious responsibility to be a Godparent. And I hope whoever you pick will be able to live up to the task.

It is a lifelong journey to be a Godparent. As of today, I have 5 Godchildren: Ethan, Kyler, Evelyn, Olivia, and Jeremiah.

I hope that I can live up to the role that their parents have given me. I continue to pray for them daily, and even if I don’t see them all the time, they are close to my heart and I hope that my prayers for them will help keep them close to our Lord and His church.

Now a note to Godparents….

Please do your best to be there for your Godchildren. If you are not physically able to, at least offer your prayers for them.

Learn your faith. This is so important. If you aren’t firm in your faith or understand why the Catholic Church teaches what she does and why… Look for those answers. I can guarantee that you will find those answers within the church.

Offer up a mass for your Godchildren on their birthdays or Baptism day. Thankfully I have a close personal relationship with a priest that I can ask him to offer up mass for anyone I ask. 🙂

Stay close to the sacraments. Holy Mother Church has given us ways to stay close to Jesus. We are to receive the sacraments often and with reverence.

Go to confession! This goes along with the previous point, but this deserves a point of its own. The sacrament of reconciliation is the most under used sacrament. If only we knew the graces we receive after every confession, we would be utilizing this sacrament more. This sacrament allows us to withstand the sins we commit. It gives us the graces we need to stay close to Jesus.

There is so much more that can be said, but I will leave it for another time. All I can say is that being a Godparent is a huge responsibility and should not be taken lightly. We are responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the children in our care.

You must choose the Godparents of your child wisely. Pick people who are good and upstanding Catholics. And if at this point in time, they are not living up to the task, have a serious talk with them and maybe they will amend their ways.

Last year at the RCIA, there was a young man who came to through the process because he was asked to be a Godparent. He never received the sacrament of confirmation, and decided to do so because he wanted to be a good Godparent to his Godchild. I only hope and pray that he gathers the knowledge that he needs to be the best Godparent he can be.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If there are any topics you’d like me to write about, please leave them in the comments, and I will do my best to write about them.

Take care and God bless!

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

Breastfeeding and the Theology of the Body

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

Even after having 4 kids, you’d think that breastfeeding would come easier with the fourth kid, but nooooooooooo….. Jacob is throwing me for a loop. First it was the bottle feeding… That was interrupting the proper latch and his preference for the bottle seemed to overtake his want for breastfeeding, so we cut out the bottles. Second it is his latch, since he was bottle fed, his latch was smaller then the typical one. Mind you he also has a really small mouth because he’s a preemie, so we’ve been using a nipple shield to help open his mouth wider, but with that comes other problems: he doesn’t get as much milk as he would drinking from the bare breast. Third, since we’re using the nipple shield, he latches better using that than on the bare breast, but I’ve been working on getting him off the nipple shield. So that’s another transition. Fourth, he hasn’t been gaining as much weight as we’d hoped, so instead of adding formula, as other people would, we’ve been adding a tube while feeding him…to get him to a higher weight….Sigh…so many things going on.

There are usually 2 breastfeeding problems: 1) a milk production problem, where for whatever reason, your body isn’t producing as much milk as your baby needs and 2) a latching problem. This happens when your baby can’t latch properly and it makes breastfeeding hurt. For me, my problem has always been a latching problem. I have never had a problem with milk production, thankfully, but on the other hand, a latching problem can make any mother quit breastfeeding because it really hurts if you don’t get the help you need. Sigh… This is such hard work. Breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and it is the least talked about in parenting classes, but let me tell you…. It puts things into perspective.

How much are you willing to sacrifice for your baby… To try to give him/her the best possible nutrition… It’s really hard… And the sad thing is… A lot of mothers give up before their babies. One thing I have learned in my life regarding breastfeeding is NEVER give up! If you’re willing to sacrifice yourself for it, it will be totally worth it. There is help out there if you really want it. But first you have to get over the painful latches of the milk production issues to be able to be in the clear.

Over the last few days, Jacob and I have been struggling with breastfeeding. He’s been fussy a lot at night which means that I’ve been up nursing him. I feel like I’ve been nursing him non stop over the last few days. It’s definitely not for the faint of heart.

Breastfeeding takes a lot of patience, persistence and a heck of a lot of the miracle nipple cream I was prescribed! Let me tell you… Without that nipple cream, I don’t know where I’d be.

Thinking about how this relates to the Theology of the Body… In so many ways, a mother is that child’s representative of Jesus, metaphorically, of course.

She willingly feeds her child, losing sleep and other things that come along with it. But if you knew what the milk was, you’d also understand the parallels with that of the Holy Eucharist.

What is the Holy Eucharist? It’s literally transformed from bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. See John chapter 6 in the Bible. Jesus’ body and blood becomes the sustenance for our lives. If we eat of his flesh and drink his blood, we will have eternal life. He is the life source of our lives.

In the same way it can be for breastfeeding…the mother’s body and blood is transformed into sustenance for that little baby. Without the milk, the baby would die. But I guess one of the most beautiful things to think about is that mothers get to feed their babies just like the Blessed Mother fed the baby Jesus. She gave up her body for him so he could live by drinking the milk that her body produced.

If breastfeeding doesn’t make you a saint, I don’t know what will. While I’m sitting here, feeding Jacob, sometimes I wonder why I don’t just quit breastfeeding this little boy… And as I contemplate this, I think no… I could never give up on this. This is my sacrifice for him but also for those who need prayers. My struggle will be offered up for those who need and want prayers. So if you’d like me to remember you during my struggle please comment on this post, and I’ll be sure to pray for you during my breastfeeding journey.

Before I end this post, if you could also lift me up in your prayers, I could really use them. Breastfeeding is hard, but one thing I’ve learned is… Get the help…it’s out there if you need it.

This is where I got my help…

The Doctor’s Breastfeeding Clinic

The doctors here are great! And so is the lactation consultant. I wouldn’t have made it this far without their help.

One last note… I was reading another blog about 5 saints who should be known by breastfeeding mothers, and one that really stood out was St. Zelie Martins. She was the mother of St. Therese of Lisieux. She was unable to breastfeed her children and had to send them to live with wet nurses because she couldn’t feed them. And many of them died while they were separated from her. 😮 Can you imagine?? Your babies died because you couldn’t breastfeed them?? I’d be devastated and I’m sure she was. So I’m that note, I’ll end this blog with a short prayer.

St. Giles (patron saint of breastfeeding and breastfeeding mothers, St. Zelie, and Our Lady of La Leche, please pray for all the breastfeeding mothers out there that are struggling and wanting to give up! Give them the will to keep going even when they want to stop. Allow them to enter into the suffering deeply and unite it with that of Christ and the Blessed mother. Allow them to persevere by your grace. All this we ask in Jesus’ name! Amen!

My little milk monster! He keeps me on my toes!

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

Adjusting to life as a mom of 4.

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

It’s been a week since Jacob has come home. It’s been fun and frustrating. Haha… Two very polarizing f words.

It’s been fun because Jacob has been a real gem. He’s a very sweet little boy. People are constantly asking us… Oh how many days old is he? And my response is… Don’t be deceived, he’s older than he looks….hahaha guess it could be the same thing for Rios. He still gets the whole… You look so young speech from people…But I notice they never say that about me… Huh… Must be the bags under my eyes and the ponytailed hair that must be giving away my age.

And on the other hand, it’s been frustrating because as much as I love my kids, they drive me crazy. They want to touch Jacob, kiss him, play with him, and be near him while I’m trying to breastfeed him. There’s nothing like telling your kid… Ummmm… Your brother is trying to drink his milk… Please give him, (me), space cause you’re crowding him (your face is too close to my breast)…. Get away child! Haha

Yup… That’s pretty much my life right now… A long list of to do lists… Feeding, changing, playing, praying… Ahhhh…. To be a mom of 4 is so fun!

We took Jakey, yes that’s Jacob’s nickname, to church for the first time on Sunday, and it was great seeing so many familiar faces. I love the community that we have at church. I look around and there’s people from all walks of life sharing in the great mystery of the Eucharist alongside me. How beautiful it is to witness such communion with others. One lady mentioned to us that her daughter lost a baby around 34 weeks, so the same age Jakey was when he was born, and it was devastating for her….of course…. That would be devastating for anyone. Everytime she looked at Jakey she’d start to tear up. But then she’d say that we were very blessed to have such a wonderful family. She was very kind. And a bonus and total parenting win was that my children all behaved at mass! Yesssssssss…. It pays off! Parenting a child for the Lord has slightly paid off on Sunday! I wrote a post a few years ago about mass and children…. Here’s the link…

https://tobcatholicmom.com/2016/04/25/mass-and-children-the-two-can-go-together/

The definite thing that I need to adjust to is caring for a newborn again. While Jacob was in the nicu, it was hard for me to picture life as a mom of 4. It felt like I was just watching someone else have the baby instead of me. It was only when we brought him home that reality started to sink in that our lives would change by adding another baby into the mix of life. Let me tell you, this kid is throwing me for a loop. He’s very different than my other three.

Jacob is the only one that stayed in the nicu. He was the only one that was a teeny tiny baby. He also is the only one that I bottle fed…I am planning to breastfeed him, but we’re working on that right now. Because he was away from me, I had to pump and bottle feed this little guy, so we’re working on establishing the breastfeeding.

If you’re looking for help with breastfeeding, I’ve only had success with this particular clinic: The Dr. Breastfeeding clinic. http://www.Drbfc.net they have helped me with all my breastfeeding problems…they’ve been there for me for all my 4 kids, and I highly recommend them

Anyway….it’s been an adjustment getting used to the newborn cries and all that comes with it.

Fun and frustrating are the two words I would use at this time to describe my experience this time around.

Thanks again to my readers for reading my blog. Please share the link with anyone that you think can learn a thing or two from me…. Or if you’d like to have a laugh or cry with me. Subscribe to the blog!

Also, if you’d like me to write about something in particular, please let me know.

Take care and God bless,

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

 

Discharge Day!

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

Today is the day we’ve been waiting for! It’s the day we get to take Jacob home! Oh my goodness … What a roller-coaster of emotions that are coming with it. It’s truly a bittersweet time right now. The nurses at the nicu made our lives so much better. I am truly thankful to the nurses that took care of my son. Pod 2, bed 2 was where he was for the better part of 5 weeks.

He first arrived there at 1140g. For those who don’t understand, he arrived as a 2lb 5oz baby… And he is leaving as a 1945g or 4lb 3oz baby!

I hope you know how much you mean to all of us. I will try to name all the nurses that I can, but please don’t be upset if I forget a name or two… Believe me, any little thing you did for my son, you also did for me and my family, and for that I am truly grateful!

To the following nurses, I want to personally thank you: Evelyn, Brandon, Sumol, Sue, Barb, Kavita, Sherry, Nima, Betty, Paula, Jennifer, Jessica, Liz, Wendy, Megan, Sally, Tanvir, Hibba, Molly and anyone else I missed. I also want to thank the admin team at the front: Camay and Jessica! You both made coming into the nicu everyday a pleasure.

The care and love that you have given to Jacob while he was there was so appreciated! There are so many words I could say, but at this point, I’m at a loss!

You have been so special to us during this journey, and I thank God everyday for bringing you into our lives. We will come back and visit and we hope to see some of you.

We love you very much and we hope that you continue to care for the other babies as you did for our little Jacob!

With that being said, we will pray for you!

On the back of one of the nurse’s shirts it said, “the nurses in the nicu have the future of the world in the palms of their hands!”

God bless you always,

Love 😍

Jacob (baby), Jeanette (mom), Rios (dad), Philip (eldest), Isaac (second), and Aaron (third)

Preemie babies and Theology of the Body

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote anything for this blog, and I’m not making excuses, but life definitely got in the way of keeping up with this blog. However … I’m back now and hopefully I can contribute more to the blogosphere.

Ok…. So update….. I had a fourth baby… Another wonderful baby BOY! I know what you’re thinking… Another boy? Was it planned?  Were you going for a girl this time around? And. … You gonna go for the girl?? As in… Are you going to go for the fifth baby?

Let me start by saying that I love my kids and they bring me so much joy…even if they drive me crazy sometimes. To answer your lingering questions though… Yes another boy; yes it was planned with more thought; no we weren’t going for a girl persay, but if we happened to be blessed with a girl, great… If not, I know boys, so it’s not much of a stretch; but to answer the big question you’re all thinking…Yes we are open to having more children!

Say whaaaat?? Yes… We’re open to having more if God blesses us with more children. That’s part of what we agreed to when we took our wedding vows: “Are you prepared to accept children lovingly from God and to bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?” and the answer is an absolute YES! I just hope we are able to because I have had 2 C-section. It is a little more complicated to have children after the second C-section.

The story behind this little one is a bit of an epic tale. Rios and I were hoping to have a 4th child because when we first got married, we wanted to have 2 or 4 kids, so after Aaron was born we realized we would love to have another, so we decided to get back on the Billings Ovulation Method bandwagon and intentionally work with God to make it happen. It definitely wasn’t as easy as it was before. I was at my heaviest weight and having very irregular cycles.

Sidenote: using the Billings Ovulation Method has helped me figure out issues within my cycle.

http://www.toronto.naturalfamilyplanning.ca

I figured out that I had thyroid issues and low vitamin D, so as soon as I got those things taken care of, I found out that I was pregnant! What a joyous occasion! This pregnancy, however, was my hardest one to date. I was told that there was a chance that this baby would have down syndrome. I also ended up getting gestational diabetes with this pregnancy. On top of that, this baby was considered high risk because he was an intrauterine growth restricted baby aka (iugr) with only 2 blood vessels running through the umbilical cord.

So when he was born, he was 2 pounds 5 ounces. Even at 34 weeks, he was as tiny as a 30 weeker. He was very feisty when he was born though. His apgar score was 10. You don’t even see that in babies that are born to term. Needless to say, I knew he would change my world when he arrived. I wasn’t even expecting him to come when he did. I was in the hospital for a non stress test: they hook you up to the monitors to check the movements of the baby, but during the test, the doctor said his movements were not adequate, so they sent me for an ultrasound. After the ultrasound, they sent me back to labour and delivery for my results, and during that time, the doctor said that the fluid around the baby was depleting. This began my journey as a preemie mom.

He was delivered via C-section and I was happy but at the same time sad. It’s hard to sit back knowing that your little baby was taken so early from the warmth of your womb and now has to stay in the care of others. I was also sad knowing that the possibility of a large family was now limited by the multiple surgeries.

The first time I got to meet him was after breakfast the next day. I couldn’t believe my eyes at how small he was. I didn’t know what to do because he was so tiny. I was in awe that I had been a co-creator along with my husband and with God to bring this little human into the world. What a huge blessing this little guy has been in our lives.

He has been in the nicu for just over three weeks now, and it has definitely been an experience. There is an element of letting go of your little baby in the hopes that he will get the best care even though you wish he could come home with you. It’s realizing that you can’t give him what he needs right now. That he needs to be in the care of the nurses while you are at home waiting and pumping. There is also the element of pumping even when you don’t want to.

Let me pause for a minute and reflect on pumping versus breastfeeding. Let me tell you one thing… Breastfeeding is sooooooo much easier than pumping. When a mom breastfeeds her baby, you’re all he needs. No extra bottles, people, and sanitizing. But on the other hand, pumping requires an element of giving of yourself in a different way. Even though your baby isn’t with you physically, you are still responsible for producing the milk that sustains him. You still have to wake up every three hours to pump or your milk either won’t come in or it will diminish. It’s a different kind of giving of yourself. It is a weird feeling being away from your baby because while you’re pumping to keep up your milk supply, you’re essentially feeding a machine. It’s also a bit harder to connect with your baby because you are separated from him. When pumping you still have the very real consequences of sore nipples. It hurts and sometimes you want to cry because you are tired, sore, and cranky, but you keep moving forward because you know that little life that you birthed is depending on you.

So how does the Theology of the Body relate to having a preemie baby? It relates very much. In general, babies are the epitome of the Theology of the Body. Birthing a baby is living the Theology of the Body. But having a preemie is another aspect of TOB. It is giving of yourself even when you are away from the baby. It is trusting the nurses to take care of your new little bundle of joy. Without those nurses, you would be a hot mess. You have to rely on your village to raise a family. If we are meant for communion, you definitely live this way because those nurses are the ones that are caring for your little one while your are at home trying to live your life and be a part of your baby’s life. They make it possible for your baby to thrive, and sure it’s their job, but at the same time, they love what they do and the nurses at the nicu where my little guy is, well they’re fantastic! I want to thank each and every nurse that has taken care of my baby. If you’re reading this, please know that I appreciate all you do and I thank you for loving my son while I’ve been unable to care for him fully. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

I once asked Christopher West what kind of advice he could give to a mother who was about to give birth to a baby in a few weeks, and his response was perfect.

“I have nothing but deep reverence for the mystery about to be revealed through the Theology of your body!! Christ used labor pains and birth as an image of the paschal mystery. You are entering bodily into a sign that encompasses the mystery of existence, of creation, fall, and redemption. Live it prayerfully… Offer all of your sufferings for the redemption of the world… The veil between heaven and earth is very thin in these moments… ”

– Christopher West

As I reflect on the actual delivery of my new baby boy… It is very much like living in union with Christ at the time. I was laying down on the operating table, vulnerable and in the form of Christ. My arms were spread out just like Christ’s were on the cross. I was giving life and at the same time losing a bit of myself and my heart to this little life. Every time a new baby is born into my family, my heart expands to allow more love to exist. Love can only grow more with the addition of more children. That is what it means to live the Theology of the Body to live freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully. Love until it hurts, and even when it hurts, keep loving more because that’s how we are called to love one another. We are called to love one another as Christ loves the church in that he gave his life up for us. Love day to day in the small things and you will be able to love in the big things!

Welcome to the world Jacob Xavius Manrique-Reyes! We love you!

The Theology of my body

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

So 2 months ago, I attended the second Theology of the Body course in Quarryville, Pennsylvania, and it was truly amazing! I LOVE how the TOB community is very tight knit. I attended the course with a few people I saw last year at the first TOB course, and we became closer through our love for TOB and for each other!

Reality has set in though and the weight of the responsibility has set me on fire for the Lord and this prophetic message!

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of my experience at the retreat, let me share an experience that I shared with my TOB friends at the retreat. It has really put things into perspective for me. I never considered my body to be a theology, but boy, was I wrong. I always thought that my body will be a gift, and sure…. it’s easy enough when you’re a parent… you’re ALWAYS a gift…but when the true nature of being a gift is called into question, things change.

A few weeks before the course, our friends got married, and it was a beautiful wedding. One of the sponsors at the wedding recently had a baby a few weeks prior, so I was asked to take care of him, and of course, I said YES! I LOVE babies!!

As I was taking care of him, he started to get fussy, so I rocked him, stood up, burped him… but he would have none of it. I quickly walked to the back as the entire wedding party was lining up and told his mom that he was hungry. She was unsure what to do because the wedding procession was going to start in a few minutes. My husband, being the TOB supporter, steps out and says “who’s going to be the wet nurse? Charity right?” and both the baby’s mom and I looked at each other and I said “I’m ok to feed him as long as you are… I don’t want him to be hungry.” And she said “tob right? Charity!” I was in such awe from that moment. I knew I had to be a gift for this little incarnate soul. He was hungry, so I fed him out of love and charity for him and his mom.

Wait whaaaaat????  You breastfed another baby??  Some of you are probably thinking this… and to you I say Yes…yes I did!!  I did it with joy and love for God. My understanding of the theology of the body made that decision easier for me to love another human that wasn’t directly related to me.

I must say that it was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve had.  I mean breastfeeding in general is a beautiful experience, but it is different when it’s your own child and when it’s someone else’s.  At that moment, I remember feeling awestruck and simply in love.  I was able to be a gift for someone other than my family and it was beautiful.

It only really hit me how powerful this witness was to me and to my fellow TOB retreat goers.  I shared this story with them during our Thursday bonfire, and a few women after came and told me that it was such a great story and that they would pray for me. One woman said that I would forever be her example of Our Lady of Laleche.  Every time she sees someone breastfeeding a baby, she will think of me and pray for me.  🙂  What wonderful people to offer up prayers for you.

Fast forward a few months later, and what have I realized….  There are so many things I can say about this experience.

It helped me have more reverence towards our blessed mother Mary.  She is the original Our Lady of la Leche.  She nursed the baby Jesus in order to sustain His life, and in turn, He gave up His to save hers.  WOW!!!!!  I, somehow, was able to participate in the very act of charity that sustained my friend’s baby as well as the charity that allowed Jesus to live.  We never think about Mary breastfeeding Jesus, but in reality she did.  What else would she have done??  She loved him enough to give up her life to care for him.  She had sleepless nights, fussy baby blues, breastfeeding aches, but yet she still gave up her life to take care of the one who gave up his. We often forget that Mary was human with real struggles and real parenting fails, but she, with the grace of God, took care of Jesus.  What a lovely reminder for us mothers… Mary was once in our shoes, so she knows our hearts better than anyone.

The theology of the body has taught me that we all long for closeness and love, and the only way to show and express love is to give of yourself fully.  To give of yourself to another freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully is the only way to truly live life. If you’re going to live, live with love.  If you’re going to love, love till it hurts.  If you’re going to be a gift, give yourself fully. When they say “no man is an island” it’s true.  No one can live by themselves devoid of the rest of the world. My dad once shared with me that “God made me to know him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this life and be happy with him forever in the next.” I will forever take those words with me as I move forward in life.  That one moment where I gave myself to love and serve another little human has forever changed my life, and for that experience, I am truly grateful.

Mass and children: the two CAN go together!

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

It’s been awhile since my last blog post, and I’ve definitely been inspired to write this particular blog post! I read a few things about bringing kids to mass: some of the things I agree with and some I respectfully disagree with.

With that being said, here are some tips that have helped me and my husband enjoy mass with our children.

1) Have a set time for mass. We used to go to the 12:30 pm mass but found that our kids would misbehave more during later masses than earlier times, so we decided to start attending the 9:30 am mass. Usually children are happier earlier in the day, so it’s great to capitalize on that happiness. Either way, you should have a scheduled mass so that your kids get used to going and have something to look forward to each week.

2) Make sure the kids have eaten something. For me, I’m definitely one of those people who can’t eat food early in the morning, but my kids tend to want to eat something right before we step out the door. Soooo…. it’s better to give them something small to keep them satiated during Mass.

3) Find a church that offers a children’s liturgy. Our parish is blessed to have a children’s liturgy at the 9:30 am mass, but not every church has the resources to have a separate liturgy for them. If you don’t have that luxury because of the lack of manpower, perhaps consider running the liturgy for the kids yourself. In my opinion, it’s great to have the children learn from someone who wants them to love Jesus like we do. It allows your kids to interact with other kids as well as learn about the readings from another source.

4) Take your kids to more than one mass a week. The beautiful thing about the Catholic Church is that at most churches, at least in my area,they offer daily mass. I strongly recommend taking your children to more than one mass a week. As you know I have 3 boys and now my 7 and 5 year old are able to behave during Mass because they are older, but my 1 and a half year old used to misbehave during Mass, but now he’s great!! My secret: I take him to mass daily! Someone mentioned to me that kids will often misbehave during Mass because they want to know what’s going on, so I decided to take Aaron daily, and after the mass, I would allow him to walk up to the altar and check things out. He absolutely loved it! I get all sorts of compliments on how well behaved he is! THANK YOU God for your grace!! Aaron is a gem at mass, and it also brings the elders joy when they see young children during the week! They look forward to seeing him daily.

5) Sit close to the front. During Good Friday I allowed Philip to sit with me during the mass. We got a seat right in the front row because of the RCIA. Because he got to see everything up close and at times have the deacons and priests looking at him, he behaved so well! I was so pleased with his behaviour! Since then, he has wanted a seat close to the front of the church. I also noticed that the loudness is typically at the back of the church and the closer you get to the front, the quieter it gets. It also allows you and your young family to focus. Again the thing is… kids want to see what’s going on.

6) Explain the mass. Ok… so you may have to whisper, but if you do it consistently, your children will know the true significance of the mass. Especially when the kids hear the bells during the consecration of the bread and wine, it’s great to whisper to your kids… “listen for the bells, it’s a very important part of the mass because it’s when the bread and wine become Jesus.” I found this helpful with both Philip and Isaac.

7) Participate during the whole mass. Children learn by example, so when you do something or don’t do something, they will follow your example. Remember that you are your children’s first teacher. They need to see you participate in your faith so they can learn from you.

8) Talk about what you learned. If you have a children’s liturgy, it’s a great discussion to have after Mass to learn about what they learned. If you don’t have one, it’s still ok because you can tell them on the way to mass that they should listen to what God wants to teach them during the mass. You can find out what they absorbed during the readings, but if they say… “I don’t know” then you can go back over the readings and help them to seek God’s message for the week.

9) Be consistent. This echoes number 4, but it is slightly different. Consistency is the key to learning anything new. The key is to start slowly and consistently instead of fast and inconsistent. Going to mass is about being consistent. Once a week is ok, but it is the bare minimum, and if you only frequent church once a month or less than, it will be hard for kids to pay attention especially during times like Good Friday, where the service is extra long.

10) Always pray for your children’s holiness. This particular tip is less about mass an more about praying for your children. Holiness is something that is learned. With the exception of Mother Mary, we are all sinners, but with the grace of God, we can be great Saints. We all have bad days, especially children, but always intercede for your children and ask the Saints and Mother Mary for their prayers! Jesus never turned children away because He loved their innocence! Children can teach us how to love God more fully.

There you go… here are the tips my husband and I use to ensure we all have a great and wonderful time during Mass. Remember that children will always try and test your limits, but with the grace of God, all things a possible!

Comment below for other tips that have helped you! May God bless you abundantly!!

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

2016 Lent to Easter Journey

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

Back in October, I was asked to be a sponsor for the RCIA program. A couple of days before I was asked, I saw the news in the bulletin, but I thought I was too late because the program already started, so I shrugged it off. The next thing I know, the Deacon at our parish asked me if I ever thought of being a sponsor for the RCIA. WHAAAAAAAT???? Wow… God really knew I was meant to be there.

As the months went by, I realized that the person I was sponsoring is definitely the person that God had meant for me to be paired with. She’s a young, beautiful woman, with a young baby, who needed guidance and understanding in her life. I’m so blessed to have her in my life, and this past weekend, I was blessed to witness her commitment to our faith and the Catholic Church.

These are my observations from the last week and a half. The weekend before Easter, we had a retreat. It was the last of 3 retreats for the program. This one was more of an individual, soul searching retreat. The other two were geared to increasing the bond between sponsor and candidate! A few things struck me during the retreat: 1) talking was kept to a minimum. (kinda hard for me…) haha; 2) the stations of the cross was a very powerful reflecting moment, even for a cradle Catholic, like myself; 3) the people we journeyed with are a family!

Moving on… starting on Thursday aka Maundy Thursday,  as I was sitting beside my friend, I was able to witness such beauty within our church. It was quiet, solemn, and reverent, with a ton of symbolism thrown in. This mass was different than the regular masses throughout the season. It felt empty…like you knew Jesus was going to die the next day! I left the mass feeling the sadness that must have been felt during Jesus’ time. I should note that my candidate missed this mass because she had to work.

Good Friday service was definitely interesting. Because I know how busy our church gets, I packed up my family to get them to the church around 2. We arrived slightly after 2 and there were lots of parking spaces as well as seats! My family sat separate from me because I was sitting with my candidate. The awesome thing is… i allowed Philip to sit in the front pew with me. I was sooooooooooo proud of him. He was attentive and quiet during the whole mass. This was a huge parenting win for us! Rios was sitting with Isaac and Aaron. Aaron slept for 95% of the mass and Isaac slept for a bit during the long service. This was a good day for our kids! We had some people tell us how well behaved our kids are. I first thanked God and then I thanked the person. It took us a long time to get them to the point where they can listen to what’s going on. For those people who don’t want to bring their kids to church…. JUST DO IT!!! They will never learn how to behave unless they are exposed to the culture.

On Saturday…. this was the big day! We had our rehearsal for the evening during the day and after we went back to the church to wait for the start of the whole Easter Vigil. In the time it took between Good Friday and Easter Vigil, both Rios and I found out that we were going to be the Godparents of my candidate’s daughter!! Let me tell you, I was Soooooooo excited!! Rios was slightly nervous, but excited too! I’m excited to be on this journey with her as she learns her faith through her mom and me and Rios’ example. Easter vigil was amongst the best nights of my life. I was able to witness my candidate,  her daughter and t people we were journeying with, receive their sacraments! What a sight to behold. The whole mass was 3.5 hours, but it was worth every minute spent. I was able to witness one of the sponsors, who was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, endure the entire mass. She arrived at 7:15 and didn’t go home until after 11. She had the brightest smile on her face! Only the grace of God could have allowed her to be there and have the energy to continue! She never complained once. I only wish that if I ever have an illness like hers, that God will give me the strength to endure it as gracefully as she did!

The final day: Easter Sunday…. Hallelujah, He is Risen!!! I know we also celebrated it on Saturday, but there’s something different about Easter Sunday! We arrived at church by 9:15, and thankfully, there were lots of seats available! Philip wanted to sit in the front row, but Isaac didn’t, so we settled for the third row. Once again, by God’s grace, our children were well behaved! Woo hoo!!! It’s AMAZING to see the fruits of love being sown before our ver eyes!

This Easter season is still being celebrated and it is with these final thoughts I’ll close this blog post…

If you ever get the chance to be an RCIA sponsor, I would highly encourage you to do so. It’s so beautiful to see someone’s faith deepen in in few short months.

Children are always a blessing. Yes they may drive us crazy at times, but with more children comes more opportunities to show love to each other and to show love to they neighbour.

Lent is a time for reflection, repentance and healing, whereas Easter is a time for joy, feasting, and celebration.

Who knows what will happen next RCIA season, but what I do know is that my first time being a sponsor has changed my life forever!

Thank you for reading,

God bless,

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette

The Lone Female Amongst The Sea of Males

Posted on by tobcatholicmom

It’s no secret that I have three young boys: Philip aged 7; Isaac aged 4 1/2; and Aaron aged 19 months.  They have taught me a lot about the way boys see the world and the way their humour is.  A lot of times I end up rolling my eyes at their silliness, but at the same time, I am also in awe of the wisdom that comes out of their young mouths.

They teach me to have more fun and to let go a little.  I love the way they make my heart melt with the warmness of their love.  They inspire me to be a better mother and better role model. SOOOOOOO…… the reason for my post this week is to talk about the importance of raising my boys to treat their future spouses with respect and love that Christ has bestowed upon us.

Since learning about the Theology of the Body and how it saved my marriage, I vow to make sure my boys know about this beautiful teaching and hope they take it to heart and be able to live in this society working to heal it from its deep wounds.

I have a lot of funny stories that pertain to the raising of young boys…. oh…. tons of them… hahaha

Let’s start from the beginning…. Philip was born in 2009, and he will be catalyst for this teaching. He is also the one that is now truly responding to it.  Thankfully with the grace of God, he has been understanding the teaching and even reminding his brothers what to do.

Having boys definitely has its challenges, especially in the realm of appropriating their bodies.  Philip is a silly kid and he often dances silly at home and then brings his silliness to school, and that often gets him in trouble.  The boys and I often have discussions about making sure they respect their bodies and that their bodies are sacred because we don’t just have a body, we are our bodies.

Soooooo I’m going to give some practical tips on what I’ve been doing to teach my boys the basics of the theology of the body:

  1. Use appropriate terms for body parts.  Always, always, always use the proper names for body parts.  Think about this…. we don’t have silly nicknames for our eyes, elbows, or feet, so why do we insist on using names like “bird” or “doodle” to describe the male anatomy?  We used to use nicknames for the anatomy, but now we have fixed this and have continued to use the proper terms for the proper parts.
  2. Find out what they know. Before you start divulging all the ins and out of the birds and the bees, you need to figure out what your kids know and what made them think of asking that question. Because kids are curious, they ask lots and lots of questions, but you need to know what information they have received and from where.  One time Philip asked me “Mommy, what does sexy mean?” I thought it was a funny question, but I asked him “where did you hear that word?” He said “I heard it on the radio.” My first thought is… Definitely have to filter their radio station… the next thing I said was “Well, sexy is a word that people use to describe another person, but it is not the most respectful word that we can use.  You can use words such as beautiful or pretty instead.”
  3. Always tell the truth (age appropriately) of course.  Before you tell your children everything under the sun… give them simple answers.  They are curious, so you can stay away from giving so much detail, but they do deserve a response: the TRUTH. Philip asked me one time “Mommy, where do babies come from?” My answer was simple: “Well buddy, when mommy and daddy love each other, their love, along with God’s love brings you into the world. It’s through our love that has allowed you to be be born.” This satisfied his curiosity, for now, at least…. we’ll see how long that will last. haha
  4. Give your kids lots of hugs, kisses, and appropriate affection.  It is important to show your children that you love them by showing them.  Give them lots of hugs and kisses.  Tickle them and make them laugh.  It is also important to make sure that your children know what inappropriate touches are.  You want them to know that their private parts are covered by their underwear, and that no one should be touching that area of their bodies.
  5. Teach your children the glorious reason that God created them.  I constantly talk to my boys about the reason they should keep their hands away from their penises (because their bodies are sacred and that is disrespecting their bodies).  I  talk to them about the sacredness of their bodies and that God created them to be a gift to their future wives, so by touching themselves, they are choosing self-gratification over God’s glorious purpose for them. If marriage is their chosen vocation, they are going to learn how to treat their future wives.  Quoting St John Paul II “Only the [human] body is capable of making visible what is invisible:
    the spiritual and the divine. Through…bodiliness,… masculinity and femininity, man becomes a visible sign of…Truth and Love, which has its source in God himself.” (TOB 19:4) My boys are going to know that they were created to love as Christ loves.
  6. Show affection to each other.  It is important that your children see their parents kiss and hug.  It’s funny because Isaac, my middle son, hates it when Rios and I hug or kiss.  Rios constantly tells him “I kiss and hug mommy because I love her! But it’s important to respect her!” I must say that I am blessed to have a husband who loves me as Christ does.

These are the things I’ve learned while studying the theology of the body, and how it relates to my child rearing.  My sons are the fruits of my labour and by the grace of God, they will continue to learn how to treat others with respect and dignity.  This is my job and I’m going to do the best I can to raise these boys right!

Thanks for reading,

Your sister in Christ,

Jeanette